Seven things we learned from the juiciest lockdown files yet

Day four of the lockdown files and it’s the juiciest so far. Here’s what the Telegraph released last night:

1. Matt Hancock thought kissing report wasn’t that bad

While cursing ‘that f——g CCTV camera’, the indefatigable Hancock said ‘that [the Sun’s] write up is very gentle’, after the paper released pictures of him and Gina Coladangelo in a rule-breaking embrace.

Hancock then set up a WhatsApp group called ‘Crisis Management’ with his media adviser Damon Poole and his lover Coladangelo. He said that he ‘need[ed] to find a clinician’ to say that he broke guidance, not guidelines. ‘PLEASE STAND THIS UP’, he wailed to his advisers.

Upon being shown the video of him kissing, his reaction was ‘crikey… I can’t say it’s very enjoyable viewing’. All sordid stuff, but one line takes the biscuit: ‘I could apologise for the whole thing – I have after all cheated on my wife.’