I have not asked anyone out on a date for over 35 years. In fact, the last time I did invite anyone out was, like most of my attempts, excruciatingly bad. It involved a bubbly and charismatic blonde who told me to get lost.
Now, as a Conservative MP, I find myself being teased by another bubbly blonde: Boris Johnson.
I can’t understand why he is toying with me. Why won’t he accept my party’s offer of a safe seat? Like a desperate suitor, it has given him plenty of options, from a welcoming spot in Hampshire to a more familiar haunt in Kensington.
I can’t believe it’s work that’s holding him back. That’s the sort of excuse that a chap gives when he’s trying to let a girl down gently. But it doesn’t quite ring true. We all know the Mayor is on a fixed-term contract, so it’s not unreasonable he begins to eye up other options.
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