Lucy Vickery

Scottish question

issue 24 May 2014

In Competition No. 2848 you were invited to submit a poem commenting on Scottish independence in the style of William Topaz McGonagall.

McGonagallesque long lines leave me space only to congratulate you on a vast and skilful entry before handing over to the man himself, hailed by the TLS as ‘the only truly memorable bad poet in our language’.

Ralph Rochester takes the extra fiver; the rest nab £35.

Bounteous Heavens, let us all rejoice!
For the People of Scotland have been given a
    Choice
And there is to be a National Referendum
For which we must thank the Scottish
    Nationalists and London.
But how many will vote No and how many will
    vote Yes
Only God knows though other clever People
    may guess
And I think a terrible Excitement will have
    mounted
Until all the Votes of the People have been
    carefully counted.












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