Scotland cannot be held in the Union against its will

Adam Tomkins’ suggestion that the UK should morph from a consent-based union of equals into a constitutional forced marriage contains all the classic elements of modern Unionist thought.

Guaranteed to infuriate Yessers by suggesting a treaty between two independent states can be retrospectively replaced by a Hotel California-style unquittable union — check.

Guaranteed to cement the Tories’ reputation as the slightly-crazed, hardball members of the Better Together team for current electoral purposes — check.

Guaranteed to fall apart as a proposition after five minutes of serious examination — check.

But also guaranteed to momentarily deflect attention from the fact Conservatives have now abandoned any effort to defend their sacred status quo — check.

Opinion polls suggest support for independence sits at a steady 50 per cent plus — aided by Brexit and Boris Johnson’s premiership — and the SNP look likely winners of the May 6 elections. Is it any coincidence that once it becomes obvious the Conservatives have lost the argument, they boldly prepare to change the rules?

Or as you’ll never see on the side of any bus: if you can’t beat ’em, just stiff ’em.