James Young

Scorn not the mistress

You are invited to describe an encounter between Bertie Wooster and James Bond in the style of either P.G. Wodehouse or Ian Fleming. Maximum 150 words. Entries to ‘Competition 2556’ by 31 July or email jamesy@greenbee.net.

issue 19 July 2008

You are invited to describe an encounter between Bertie Wooster and James Bond in the style of either P.G. Wodehouse or Ian Fleming. Maximum 150 words. Entries to ‘Competition 2556’ by 31 July or email jamesy@greenbee.net.

In Competition No. 2553 you were invited to write a sonnet by the Mistress in reply to the author of Sonnet 130.

Zounds! Such a pounding unkind Shakespeare
    took
When Rival Poets used the sonnet’s power!
But who’s to bring their weighty words to book?
T.T., thou shouldst be living at this hour!
But ’cos thou art well dead, I’ll sing of those
Who gave the Avon Swan such well-earned welly.
Seven share the purse; the extra tenner goes
For understated ire to good Ray Kelley.
Ray, Ros, Baz, Virge, Paul, Noel, Webster came
Hearing the injured Mistress’ plaintive cries.
With dozens that I haven’t space to name
They cut the egregious ego down to size.











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