School daze

In Competition No. 2511 you were invited to describe, in prose or verse, Christopher Robin’s first day at a comprehensive school.

In Competition No. 2511 you were invited to describe, in prose or verse, Christopher Robin’s first day at a comprehensive school.
The idea was to wrench Pooh’s chum from a cosy world of Nanny, Hornby train-sets and bedtime prayers and plunge him into the lawless pandemonium of an inner-city comprehensive, where presumably the only ‘hoppity hopping’ he’d be doing would be to dodge the bullets, and his fellow pupils would more likely have a dose of the clap than sneezles and wheezles. How did he fare? Over to you.
The comp was a pleasure to judge; commendations to Mike Morrison and Paul Griffin. The prizewinning line-up is printed below. It’s £25 each this week and the bonus fiver belongs to Simon Machin.

They’re guardin’ the classrooms at Walthamstow Central —
Christopher Robin is drivin’ them mental.