Save me from the cult of instant intimacy

The other day I made a couple of calls to a bank about a loan. After the usual jumping over hoops to get to talk to a human being — the failure of voice-activated systems to understand a word I say, even when it’s the word ‘loan’, is particularly wounding — I got through to a young man who passed me on to a young woman. In both cases the answer to my actual query was no; they ended the call with ‘Have a good one’ and ‘You take care now’. To which all you can say, a bit lamely, is: ‘You too!’

Whenever someone tells me to have a good day, I recall the gag about the man who invariably stiffened slightly and replied: ‘Thank you — I have other plans.’ If it’s kindly meant, it’s fine; if it’s reflexive, just an automatic verbal sign-off, you wonder what’s going on.