Salad bars are a crime against humanity

I love salad but there need to be rules. Salad should never be squashed in with hot food (e.g., in burgers); must never be dressed with anything from a bottle; and salad must never be served buffet style. Oh, and if it’s warm it’s quite simply not salad.

For this reason, today I am speaking out against the horror story that is the salad bar. Landing after a very long flight from London to Melbourne, I was looking forward to dinner with my hosts who promised me ‘a real treat at a gorgeous restaurant you will love’. But their email also informed me that we would be going to a vegan, raw food place, heavy on the avocados, and with a no onion or garlic section for those adhering to the plant-based Jain diet that excludes roots and underground vegetables. A note on the menu informed diners that there would be no dressings served at this hellhole because ‘we prefer our prize, organic ingredients to remain naked and unsullied’.