Safety first

Sophia was such a very large lady, the seatbelt of my car, even when fully extended, wasn’t quite long enough to go round her. She insisted on wearing it though, so her lover Ulrika and I redoubled our efforts. After a titanic struggle we found that we could force it around her if we pulled on the strap with our combined might and clicked it into the catch on the driver’s side. The belt cut so deeply into Sophia’s stomach it was lost from view, but she insisted she was happy. She would rather be uncomfortable and safe, she said, rather than the other way round.

I’d met Sophia and Ulrika in the pub. This incredibly large woman and this worryingly thin woman had come in and sat at the next table. We chatted. They were very open and frank. They were Germans, they said. They’ve been living together in Berlin for 17 years.