Running on empty | 10 March 2012

Bel Ami is based on Guy de Maupassant’s 1895 novel of the same name about a young man who sleeps himself to the top of Parisian society — I once slept myself to the top of Parisian society, but by the time I got there I was far too exhausted to properly enjoy it — and while it is lush and handsomely mounted and features copious sex scenes it lacks what it would absolutely have to have were it to work: erotic sizzle.

It should, in its energies and passions, be most like Dangerous Liaisons, say, but it’s neither seductive nor absorbing, and although I hate to point the finger — once you have slept your way to the top in Paris, even pointing a finger can seem like too much — I would say the lead actor, Robert Pattinson, means well and tries hard, bless, but just doesn’t have the chops.