Monarchy and celebrities should not mix

This weekend’s coronation will be an historic moment, a milestone in the mass memory. Just think how many dreary British films will be set against the backdrop of the coronation. (At least it will make a change from things being set against the backdrop of the miners’ strike – a mate of mine invented a game where you take turns adding that to the synopses of other famous films, e.g. ‘Jack Nicholson is possessed by the spirit of a murderous caretaker, set against the poignant backdrop of the miners’ strike’.) 

But there is already a sense of a rather odd, half-in half-out, uncertain tone to the affair. This is meant to be a spectacle of majesty and splendour, but oh no, we can’t have the Speaker’s gold coach. The coronation is the sacred rite calling on God’s intervention in temporal business, but oh dear, we mustn’t offend anybody. 

Celebrity invitees to the Big Do include judges and/or presenters from current reality hits Strictly Come Dancing, Britain’s Got Talent and The Repair Shop.