Rowing at university is most fun when there’s no rowing

I remember telling my friends that I was going to row at Oxford. I could picture myself in flattering Magdalen College Boat Club lycra, a rosy glow on my cheeks as I enjoyed boat-based camaraderie with my team mates on a crisp spring morning.

I didn’t even make it to the river. After a week of leaving grimy gyms with sore muscles and a sense of inadequacy, I jumped ship. My only contact with the sport since has been bumping into the rowers on my corridor on the way to the shower, on the rare occasions when I’m up before 10. Back from their 6am appointments with frostbite on the Thames, reached only after a 30 minute bike ride, my friends appear in a new light: disciplined, fit, driven and organised. It’s disturbing.

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But on Wednesday I briefly returned to the rowing fold, to sample its less health-enhancing side: crew dates.