Real women do not behave like this: Lyonesse, at the Harold Pinter Theatre, reviewed

Lyonesse by Penelope Skinner takes a while to get going. The central character, Elaine, is a washed-up British actress (Kristin Scott Thomas) who lives in a crumbling mansion in Cornwall where she dreams of making a comeback as a movie star. She contacts a clueless researcher, Kate, and asks her to drive down from London to write a screenplay about her reclusive existence in the sticks. Kate meets Chris, a mixed-race lesbian poet who works as Elaine’s chauffeur, factotum, and companion. Chris also keeps the moths away from Elaine’s collection of 12 dead parrots, stuffed and caged.

After nearly an hour of stage time, Elaine is ready to narrate her life story with Chris on duty as her stagehand. Chris is necessary because Elaine delivers her story standing on a makeshift rostrum decked out with fairy lights, dressed as a carrion crow.