Real life: My own personal stress test

Are you stressed? Do you worry that your stress levels are not normal? Do you fret that your reactions to everyday situations are an indicator of your total inability to cope with modern existence? Then why not take my handy personal stress self-assessment test? It’s easy, fun and at the end there will be an opportunity to review your score and get totally unprofessional advice about what your stress levels mean and what you should do about them.

Here we go. Question One: You open your eyes. It is not yet 6 a.m. and the dog is slapping your face with her paws. Do you a) Leap out of bed and pull on your clothes, grinning ironically at the thought that a dog is better than an alarm clock; b) Shut the dog out of the bedroom and get an extra hour’s kip; or c) Start to cuddle the dog, under the bed covers, while whingeing tearfully about the day ahead, before falling out of the bed sideways because you’re too tired to stand and crawling on your hands and knees to the laundry basket to find an unwashed pair of jeans?

Question Two: As you fling yourself around the kitchen trying to make breakfast, you burn your hand on the toaster.