Real life: Leave my dog alone

The man at the next table looked down at my fidgeting spaniel and shook his head. ‘Not trained,’ he said.

How rude. There I was, having a quiet drink with my friend at the local pub, when the man at the next table decided to give me some unsolicited advice about how to control my dog. There is nothing worse than unsolicited advice about techniques of cocker spaniel stewardship. As any cocker spaniel owner knows, if you manage to train one not to leap out of too many third floor windows, then you are doing well.

I have to admit, however, that the man at the next table had some right to intervene. Cydney was driving the pub mad by whimpering and wriggling at my feet. Actually, she was howling as though her lungs were fit to burst, and yanking so hard on her lead that she was pulling me across the floor on my seat.