Real life | 7 July 2012

‘Police Notice,’ said the police notice nailed up on a fence post at the entrance to the common land where I ride my horses.

‘It has become apparent that activities of an unacceptable nature are taking place in this area, together with offences of litter and criminal damage.’

At first I thought they were talking about Iranian New Year. Nothing wrong with Iranian New Year per se, of course, but this year they decided to hold it in Surrey and the celebrations all but brought the area to a standstill.

I had never seen so many BMW saloons doing three-point turns in one narrow country lane. The fabulously dressed and bejewelled owners kept winding the windows down and shouting at me for directions as I rode my horse: ‘Excuse me! Where is lake?’ they called, as I tried to steer my wild-eyed mare away from their meandering Beemers.

After directing about two dozen cars to the beauty spot in question, I realised that whilst doing my bit for Anglo–Arab relations, I was not necessarily doing the right thing logistically speaking.