Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 28 March 2019

It’s not good screeching at the builder boyfriend like a fishwife. He needs positive reinforcement

issue 30 March 2019

‘This clean sock regime is really annoying,’ said the builder boyfriend, as he rummaged through his newly inaugurated top drawer.

I had toyed with the idea of giving him two small drawers as I did last time he graced my domestic arrangements with his presence. But this time I gave him the entire chest: that’s four drawers in total.

That’s a lot of commitment on my part and a fair amount on his, too. It scared him, understandably. ‘You’ll be wanting rent next,’ he said, grinning sardonically.

‘Aren’t you pleased, having all your clothes so nicely arranged?’ I had put everything away for him while he was at work and when he came back it was a fait accompli, this entire chest of drawers thing, taking our on/off relationship to a whole new level of severity.

At first he didn’t say much, and just got on with getting his socks out of the top drawer, his polo shirts out of the middle drawer, his jeans out of the bottom, or his paint-covered work trousers off the floor of the undecorated corridor leading to the loft, and so on.

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