Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real Life | 26 September 2009

Any questions

issue 26 September 2009

Just when I thought the junk mail on my doormat couldn’t get any more pointless, a record-breakingly worthless form of advertising has begun to pour in. It’s from my local Labour council showing off the inventive new ways it has found of spending my money. The other day I got a leaflet telling me about a ‘community action fund’ which has been mysteriously allocated a quarter of a million pounds — apparently it just fell out of the sky — to spend on three local projects and I get to choose. Whoopee.

Would I like to spend the money on…drum roll…: improved shower facilities at The Darby and Joan Club; building a children’s ‘wet play area’; installing a ‘pop-up urinal’ (they seem to be obsessed with niche plumbing); refurbishing a café; upgrading a BMX track; or putting up some more street signs. It didn’t say what would be on the signs.

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