Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 24 November 2016

Reception is so bad that it’s an ideal network for those who loathe being connected 24/7

issue 26 November 2016

A few weeks after switching my iPhone to the EE network, I noticed a funny thing. It hadn’t rung. I checked my voicemail and found heaps of messages from angry people asking why I wouldn’t answer. Was I sick? Was I avoiding them? Had I finally lost all grip on reality and run away to join a convent of Cistercian nuns?

A constant stream of furious texts was coming in as well, although a lot weren’t coming in, I found out later. All said the same thing. ‘Where are you? Why are you ignoring me? Have you been granted asylum in Montana by Donald Trump already?!’

Meanwhile, my nearest and dearest got hold of me on my secret other number, the one connected to the ancient BlackBerry that I cling to for dear life because I hate the iPhone so much. I only give the BlackBerry number to people I really worry about worrying about me: chiefly my mum and the builder boyfriend.

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