Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 21 January 2016

Forget the cultural sights — just give me a club soda and five days by the pool

issue 23 January 2016

When in India, I always appal my highly educated tour guides. They despair of me, as they drag me round the cultural sights, trying to force education and refinement into me as I lounge about on the walls outside temples soaking up the atmosphere.

This trip was no different. My guide had come to pick me up bright and early from the Hyatt in the business district of Calcutta where I had been staying for a three-day economic summit.

I had arranged for a further three days of what the tour operators refer to as R&R before I headed back to London. India is one of my favourite destinations but I am a lazy so-and-so when it comes to sightseeing. All I want to do is wander about watching beautiful women wash clothes in rivers. Then a Bengali drummer in the evening and I’m set.

The tour operators fail to understand this. They imagine that what westerners really want when they visit India is to see the remnants of the empire.

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