After months of trying not to try the exciting new version of Gmail, the exciting new version of Gmail tried me.
I hadn’t realised it had happened until I opened my laptop and didn’t recognise my own inbox. With the horror that creeps up in me like acid reflux to greet all technological advances, I realised that forces unknown had shut down my laptop in the night and upgraded me to the new Gmail while I was asleep.
‘Dear God, no!’ I screamed, as I tapped away furiously trying to change my email back to the format I could understand. But the option in settings for ‘Go back to classic Gmail’ had disappeared.
‘No! Please no! Please! Christ, no!’ I wailed like Edward Woodward in The Wicker Man as the pagans are lighting the fire beneath him and the sacrificial chickens.
Turns out you can only resist new versions for so long by clicking the opt-out button.
They won’t let you resist for ever.
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