Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 17 March 2016

Though when Tony the plumber will get around to fitting it is anyone’s guess

issue 19 March 2016

Diamonds are for ever. Plumbers take a lifetime. They never finish. No job is too big or small for them to not finish it.

All I wanted was a new kitchen tap unit. The hot tap needed a washer fitting but, according to Tony the plumber from over the road, there is no point fitting a washer. It’s more work than it’s worth. The thing to do is to rip out the old taps and fit new ones, which he can do almost more cheaply, but certainly no more expensively, than fitting a washer.

Fine, I thought. The old taps are horrible anyway so new taps it will be. Tony got a catalogue from the Plumb Center and showed me the pages of taps, which were all mind-blowingly similar. I chose the cheapest ones and he said he would order, pick them up and fit them. And then nothing happened for six months.

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