Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 17 March 2012

issue 17 March 2012

Before Wayne and Waynetta Slob pretended I had run into the back of their car, my annual insurance premium was £372.

Now that Mr and Mrs Slob’s ludicrously spurious claim for ‘soft tissue damage’ is well under way, can you guess what my renewal premium is?
I’ll give you a clue. I rang Aviva to try to get them to explain the thinking behind the new figure.

I spoke to a nice guy, let’s call him Steve, who went to great lengths to try to explain the increase.

OK, so he didn’t go to great lengths until I threatened to commit suicide. Until I threatened to commit suicide, he said the new premium had been ‘generated by the computer’ and it was not for him, nor any other human being on this planet or indeed on any other planet, to try to explain it.

His exact words were, ‘We don’t manually calculate it.

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