One thing Lorraine Kelly does not say in the Wayfair advert is: ‘What if I fancy getting my money back for an item that hasn’t arrived?’ I guess they’ve only got 30 seconds, and it’s a wee bit complicated. This is a shame because I’ve always rather enjoyed myself on Wayfair.
When the wrong bed arrived, they set about despatching so many beds to me that I ran out of storage space until the right one randomly materialised. So when it came to ordering a new mattress for another bed I returned for more, thinking that if it went wrong I might get deluged in the EU mattress mountain.
The mattress didn’t appear, reliably enough, and I got an email a few days later saying it had not been despatched from the supplier. I looked forward to the usual apologies, followed by the arrival of 36 mattresses.
Ten days later, however, I had to call customer services, whereupon a cheerful lady said they would sort it out. But three days later I had heard nothing. When I rang again, a chap who sounded like he was not where his innermost soul wanted to be told me that the mattress was well and truly lost.
I told him fine, I would like my money back. I couldn’t be bothered trying to pick another one. And I’d suddenly gone off the idea of 36 mattresses piled up in my hallway.
‘Yes, of course,’ he said, ‘and while I do want to help you with that…’ Uh-oh… ‘I’m afraid I have to follow procedure. I can’t issue a refund until I can locate the mattress in our warehousing system.’
‘You don’t understand,’ I said, ‘I’m after either my mattress or my money back, not both at the same time.
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