Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 14 January 2016

A road resurfacer will trump a middle-class woman every time (unless she is a lesbian adopter)

issue 16 January 2016

All disputes are now a clash of rights in which both sides compete to see who has the greatest claim to the backing of the Equality and Human Rights Commission.

I’ve realised this because the other day I took on a road resurfacer who I caught fly-tipping debris and as the ensuing row almost came to blows I contemplated what would happen if the police were called.

In the matter of Kite v. Surrey Tarmacker, I wouldn’t like to call it. On the one hand, I’d have a possible gender equality claim, and a very tenuous shot at a disability complaint based on the fact that I can barely think straight most days on account of my midlife crisis. On the other hand, he might put a very good case together alleging a racial slur pertaining to his right to make a living as generations of his family have done before him, by badly laying then dumping tarmacadam.

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