Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 1 June 2017

I just wanted to explain to the DVLA why I hadn’t taxed my stolen Volvo; but that wasn’t on the menu

issue 03 June 2017

‘You’re probably excited about your new service and keen to start using it as soon as you can,’ said the email from BT, not quite taking the words out of my mouth.

I’m sorry to be difficult, but I just want Wi-Fi. I don’t want to get excited. I’ve been excited numerous times over the years and it was, quite frankly, over-rated. I’m getting to the age when I really could do without excitement altogether.

I would like to send some emails. And I’d like a land line to telephone my mum of an evening. I just don’t want to get stirred to the verge of hysteria about it. But no matter, because the next line of the message cautioned me against getting carried away with my emotions: ‘As you can imagine, it’s really important to get set up properly first.’

So important, in fact, that BT doesn’t offer you any help to set up properly first other than an online troubleshooter and a web chat.

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