Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 1 August 2019

In speaking to the visitors, we have incurred the wrath of the village

issue 03 August 2019

The village fête had to be cancelled because of what they called an ‘incursion’ on to the green. The way the local paper told it, an ‘unauthorised encampment’ put an end to the annual summer event that would have raised money for charity.

Actually, as I watched from my bedroom window, what happened was that the organisers of the fête arrived the day before to set up, unlocked the padlock on the gate leading onto the green, and left it open.

Our visitors then simply followed them in. The police were called, arriving with amazing speed in lavish numbers, and the new arrivals agreed to move to the back meadow and park their caravans there so the fête could go ahead.

But the notice went up anyway: ‘Fête cancelled.’ And a statement was given to the local rag saying the event had been stopped ‘for safety reasons’. Interesting choice of words, given that the visitors did exactly as they were told and then went on to do absolutely nothing all week but buy groceries and takeaways from the local shops and restaurants.

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