Proverbial wisdom?

In Competition 2817 you were asked to provide a poem, in the manner of Harry Graham’s Perverted Proverbs, questioning the wisdom of a popular proverb.

Graham was an immensely gifted lyricist and poet. In 1903, in the guise of one Col. D. Streamer, he published Perverted Proverbs: A Manual of Immorals for the Many, in which he brilliantly exposed the absurdity at the heart of those maddening nuggets of so-called wisdom that are trotted out when you least want to hear them. You weren’t obliged to follow Graham’s metre and rhyme, but those who did so earned extra points.

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Nick Grace and Brian Allgar deserve an honourable mention. The winners, below, earn £25 each; Chris O’Carroll takes £30.

In the country of the blind,
The one-eyed man is king, you tell me?
There’s not one whit of truth behind
That bill of goods you seek to sell me.
This world rewards the clearest vision
With harshest hatred and derision.
 
Between him with an eye that sees
And them without, there’s always friction.
Darkness inflicts cruel penalties
On insight — hemlock, crucifixion.
No one-eyed man will ever find
Himself enthroned among the blind.
Chris O’Carroll
 
It’s such a shame when sun’s so rare
To squander it in making hay.
It cannot hurt to leave it there —
There’s sure to be a better day.
And think of all the other things
That need the balm that sunshine brings.
It would make better use of time
To take a punt out on the broads
Or lie back with a gin and lime
Or snooze the day away at Lord’s.
And see what making hay achieves —
A headache, and a few limp sheaves.
 
Make hay when skies are dull and cool,
Or leave it to some other fool.
Noel Petty
 
The fellow must be brought to book
Who thinks a Crowd will ease the strain:
He’s surely neither Sweep nor Cook,
Nor yet Conductor on a train:
‘Get a man in!’ runs the Phrase,
And not the cast of Songs of Praise.