Protest all you like. I won’t listen until you burn

I think on balance I would prefer people to demonstrate their opposition to political developments — Brexit, the forthcoming state visit of Donald Trump and so on — by setting fire to themselves in the manner of outraged Buddhist monks, rather than simply by clicking ‘sign’ on some internet petition. I think the self-immolation thing carries more force.

It is true that a mass conflagration of a million and a half people in Trafalgar Square would, in the short term, greatly exacerbate the appalling smog afflicting London as a consequence of wood-burning stoves. But as most of the signatories of the petition against Trump coming probably own all of those stoves, we would be killing two birds with one stone. A forceful protest, which would make us sit up and take notice, and within a few days an end to the polluting effects of the liberal middle classes.

We have still not got to grips with click democracy, how we should weigh its import and who is it who is doing all of the relentless and asinine clicking. Seventeen million people vote for Brexit, but we are somehow expected to review that democratic decision when a million or so sign a petition saying it’s a bad idea, not in my name etc. Why? So it is with President Trump’s visit. The protests in the USA and the petition and demonstrations over here should count for nothing when placed against the fact that Mr Trump won his election fair and square. And I say that even though Gary Lineker was present at the anti-Trump demo in London. Normally, of course, when this intellectual colossus delivers himself of an opinion, we should ponder his words and take heed. But not on this occasion, I think.

My guess, supported by the geographical breakdown of where the petitioners live, is that the same people who decided that the democratic decision taken to leave the European Union was mistaken and must be overturned are precisely the same people who don’t want the Donald to meet the Queen.