Cosmo Landesman

Problem children

Once kids were expected to fit around grown-ups’ needs. Now it’s the other way around

issue 28 July 2018

There was a time when middle-class liberals used to complain that the English were a nation of child haters. They packed them off to boarding school as soon as possible and banned them from the dinner table as soon as they got back. Why-oh-why, they asked, can’t the English just relax and enjoy the presence of children like the French did?

Well, they’ve got their wish. That old, much-mocked Victorian proverb — children should be seen and not heard — has been replaced by a new dictum in child-centric Britain: children must be seen, heard, celebrated, praised and obeyed all of the time.

Once children were expected to fit themselves around the needs of grown-ups; now it’s the other way around. In progressive minded households, children are regarded as mini-adults with rights who must be consulted on all family matters. When I asked a friend about suitable dates for my son and me to visit his family during the summer break he said great, but he’d have to check with his daughter first and get back to me.

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