Prince Harry will regret invading his privacy with his ‘Spare’ sex scene

What a pity that memoirs don’t qualify for the Bad Sex in Literature prize. If they did, the description of how Prince Harry lost his virginity in Spare would surely qualify. That sordid tale has already passed into the annals of the least sexy writing about sex imaginable, with an older woman treating the young prince like ‘a young stallion’, before parting by ‘smack(ing) (Harry’s) rump and sen(ding) (him) off to graze’.

The description of who the anonymous woman is duly sparked a media frenzy. There were rumours it was Liz Hurley, promptly denied. The woman’s identity became nearly as discussed as the Duke’s latest outburst against his family.

Now the tabloid search for Harry’s horsey lover has finally come to an end. She is Sasha Walpole, a former Highgrove groom who had – as is the way of these things – we are told, ‘a passionate five minute romp’ with the prince in July 2001 the Vine Tree Inn, a Wiltshire pub.