Price fixing

Is it any wonder people get depressed in January? Something really sinister happens at this time of year. It begins, of course, with the boiler breaking down. This is only to be expected in heavy snow because boilers are not machines. They are sentient beings with malicious personal agendas. They wait patiently until it gets really cold then start dripping and spluttering and making pathetic choking noises that sound ever so slightly like ‘help! I’m dying!’ until you are forced to call out Tony the plumber.

There are many baffling things about plumbers but by far the most baffling thing about mine is that he always charges exactly the same amount of money — £326.20 — no matter what you ask him to do. This is terrific value if you want a new bathroom putting in but not so good if you just want a radiator with a stuck knob turned down.