PMQs sketch: Theresa May watches on…

The Labour party’s in-growing toenail, Jeremy Corbyn, (not to be removed without much screaming and blood), behaved like a man on a zero-hours contract today. He skedaddled through his six questions as if dashing away to another gig at 12.30. But doing what? Perhaps auctioning off the ‘Remain’ badges he bought in June at ‘lastminute.com’. At least he’s stopped reciting bleaty letters from Momentum supporters posing as undecided voters. Instead he played the internal politics game. He welcomed the chancellor’s decision to abandon fiscal prudence and to commit Britain to bankruptcy until 2020 and beyond. Big spender Corbyn has always wanted to splash other people’s money around like a dictator’s wife at Jimmy Choos. And he singled out John McDonnell for praise, offering sincere congratulations to the shadow chancellor for arguing all his life that only failing governments resort to the madness of solvency. Rather a touching moment. The last embrace of two daft old chatter-boxes as the mini-bus arrives and the day-centre closes.

Street-fighter Cameron can’t see the point any more.