PMQs Sketch: Sex scandals and private jets

Bit of a rum PMQs. The evolving sexual scandals cast a pall over proceedings. Up first, Dennis Skinner, who revealed the truth about HS2. It’s a wicked plot to treat northerners as ‘second class citizens’. He said that tunnels are to account for 30 per cent of the southern route but only 2 per cent of the northern bits. Selectively-educated Mr Skinner knows perfectly well that this is about economics. A Home Counties property costs more than its northern counterpart so burrowing under a house is cheaper than sending an express train through the master-bedroom. But perhaps he’s got a point. Couldn’t HS2 be entirely subterranean? Effectively this would mean extending the London Underground from Euston to Edinburgh.  Not a bad idea. Travellers would relish the convenience of boarding a northbound tube train at Tottenham Court Road and emerging in Scotland, two days later, having spent an unforgettable time in the company of tenacious beggars, songbird hen-parties and snoring drunks.