PMQs sketch: moaning and groaning from Ed Miliband

Thwack! That was the sound of Ed Miliband being knocked for six at PMQs. He didn’t stand a chance. Even before he could get to his feet, David Cameron had put a question to him. Against the rules. But so what? Cameron wanted to know if the Labour leader would withdraw his constant attacks on Tory plans to remove child benefit from high earners?

Miliband stood up midst a barrage of Tory jeers, (and a few supplementary squawks from LibDems too). The humiliation of Labour’s U-turn showed on his face. He looked like an elevator-boy with his conk caught in the closing doors. The chamber was in full cry and the decibel levels were rising. And he still hadn’t spoken a word! So he tried to master the house by affecting an expression of patient but affronted dignity, like a nun being told a dirty joke. This didn’t work either. Finally he raised his bleat above the din and accused the PM of mismanaging A&E waiting times.