PMQs sketch: Andrew Mitchell needed a haircut, a feed-up, and a good cuddle. But Miliband offered no comfort.

It was a question of when not if. Today’s PMQs was always going to turn into a kangaroo inquiry into Andrew Mitchell. The man who said ‘pleb’ was in full view on the front bench but he looked as if he were sitting in the Number One dock at the Old Bailey.

Ed Miliband started by asking the PM about joblessness which – unhappily for Labour – has fallen. He attacked Cameron for failing to tackle long-term youth unemployment and Cameron countered by pointing out that the number of kids on the dole had doubled during Labour’s last two years in power. They tussled for a few moments over the statistics, quite pointlessly. It was like watching a pie-chart trying to smother a Venn diagram.

Miliband manouevred onto the real issue of the day. Mischievously, he quoted Boris Johnson, (‘the prime minister’s new best mate’), who once declared that ‘if people swear at the police they should expect to be arrested.’