PMQs drove up a cul-de-sac today. Sir Keir’s team of researchers have discovered a crime blackspot where ten houses have been burgled in the last 18 months, but only one of these offences has ended up in court. This delighted Sir Keir as it gave him a chance to remind the world that he once worked as a prosecutor. Even better, the benighted cul-de-sac happens to be in Yorkshire where Rishi Sunak’s constituency is located.
Crime dominated the session because Sir Keir brought up Baroness Casey’s end-of-term report on the London police force. The cops have fluffed it, according to the baroness, and their ranks are now overflowing with sexists, racists and homophobes. Sir Keir focused on his specialism, conviction rates, and lambasted the government for exposing the public to wave after wave of crime. ‘Burglars and rapists walk the streets with impunity!’ he cried with so much vigour that it sounded like a proud Labour achievement.
Hoyle suffers from the misconception that he’s a wit who deserves to bask in the limelight every Wednesday
Rishi told a different tale and boasted that his party had hired an extra 20,000 cops.
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