Barristers say there are two types of performers in court. The rhinos use brash, crude, overpowering blows. The snakes are subtle, unpredictable and deadly. Today at PMQs, the two beasts met.
Boris came out of the jungle at full charge.
‘I think the honourable gentleman has been stunned by the success of the test and trace operation,’ he bellowed. He was responding to Sir Keir Starmer’s criticism of the government’s testing regime.
‘Contrary to his prognostications of gloom,’ Boris went on, ‘it has got up and running much faster than expected.’
Sir Keir, all serpentine cunning, asked him about the failure of the app to trace every relevant contact. Boris thrashed and snorted.
Starmer’s certainly a class act. But he’s up against a circus act
‘I wonder whether he can name a single country in the world that has a functioning contact-tracing app. Because there isn’t one.’
‘Germany,’ said Sir Keir, ‘June 15. Twelve million downloads.’
Whoops.
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