Parliament full of vermin: official

It was Nye Bevan who claimed that the Conservative party was ‘lower than vermin.’ But in today’s House of Commons, it is not just the Tories who have to serve cheek by jowl with some of nature’s less attractive creatures. Since the return of Westminster last year, Steerpike has heard nothing but complaints about the state of parliament’s mouse problem. Across the House, staffers talk of horrified encounters with tiny rodents across the estate, be that in cramped researchers’ offices, over coffees in Portcullis House or the grandeur of Westminster Hall. One caseworker has promised photographic evidence the next time they find one on their desk while another moans: ‘No working WiFi and a pet rodent – it’s just part of the Westminster furniture.’

Now a Freedom of Information request by Mr S has revealed the extent of the problem post-Covid. In January – the most recent month for which figures are available – a mouse was spotted 26 times in the 20 working days when parliament was open.