If you were hoping to escape the bilge that’s been pumped out by supposedly neutral organs of the state during this general election campaign — the BBC, schools, the NHS — I don’t recommend going to see a pantomime. Gramsci’s long march through the institutions has finally reached the last redoubt of political incorrectness. Say goodbye to bum-pinching, boob-squeezing and irreverent, smutty gags about holier-than-thou political figures; say hello to anti-austerity scripts, racially sensitive casting and three-hour lectures on climate change.
You think I’m making it up? Oh no I’m not! A new version of Jack and the Beanstalk at the Lighthouse Theatre in Poole written by former Blue Peter presenter Peter Duncan is being billed as a ‘planet-saving panto’. The heroine is called ‘Greta Thunberg’ — Duncan hasn’t even bothered to change her name — and the villain is a giant made out of plastic who works for a gas-guzzling corporation. The Dame (played by Duncan) lives in a carbon-neutral cottage and the beanstalk is composed of recycled materials — presumably so when the plucky little climate change activist chops it down in the final scene she can’t be accused of ‘deforestation’.
At least Duncan has preserved his panto’s original title. That’s more than can be said for the production of Peter Pan currently at Theatre503 in Battersea. The feminist authors decided it was sexist to call the play after its male protagonist so have re-named it Wendy’s Awfully Big Adventure and insisted on an all-female cast. Still, even that sounds more fun than the version of Cinderella at the Lyric Hammersmith. ‘This is not a panto to leave traditional assumptions intact,’ gushes a review in the Guardian. ‘One ugly sister turns out to be quite sweet, and falls in love — heteronormativity be damned! — with a female Buttons.’
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