In Competition No. 2484 you were invited to provide the first 16 lines of an ‘Ode to Vegetables’. Thank you for the kind words that have been reaching me at the Charing Cross Hospital. Mike Morrison’s entry was particularly bracing:
I’ve never known a patient quite like you,
Jaspistos: no, you can’t have Irish stew …
‘May I have cheese on toast?’ No, you may not,
It’s Hobson’s choice here, sunshine — that’s shallot!
My challenge called for either the solemnity of an Erasmus Darwin or Auden in a light-hearted mood, but the results were disappointing. The prizewinners, printed below, are rewarded with £25 each, while the bonus fiver goes to Noel Petty.
Oh, some go wild for fillet steak, enough to fill the plate,
And some declare a rump to be the best they ever ate,
But I’ve got high cholesterol and have to watch my weight,
Said the old bold mate of Henry Morgan.
Oh, some like fancy recipes from alien cuisines,
But I find huge contentment in a bowl of home-grown greens
Like curly kale and broccoli, and leeks, and runner beans,
Said the old bold mate of Henry Morgan.
Oh, some must have their Camemberts and some their creamy Bries,
But my delight is victuals more congenial than these.
There’s nothing like a hearty dish of carrots, sprouts and peas,
Said the old bold mate of Henry Morgan.
Oh, some there are who dally with a rich and juicy ham,
While others risk their future with a dripping leg of lamb,
But I’m the one who’ll make it to the Royal Telegram,
Said the old bold mate of Henry Morgan.
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in