Opening Proceedings

James Hamilton is quite right to suggest that there’s no way London can compete with Beijing’s spectacular and often beautiful (if also, as he says, “frenziedly gauche”) opening ceremony. And he’s correct to argue that we shouldn’t try to. In any case, opening ceremonies tend towards the vulgar. When they are not bafflingly abstract they’re unnecessarily, if revealingly, boastful. Hey, look at us! Hosting the games should be enough in and of itself, without any need for this rather naff sort of preening.

Now admittedly an absence of preening is itself a form of preening. But there you have it. My suggestion for the London 2012 games would be for the band of the Grenadier Guards to play a few tunes (including “Colonel Bogey”, “The Dambusters March”, “Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kitbag” and plenty of Elgar of course…) while the athletes march past. Then Her Majesty can cut the ribbon and declare the games open.