After four hours of driving, we should have been in the middle of Dartmoor. And yet we were not. We were pulled over in a lay-by and the infernal devil that is the iPhone satnav was wiping the floor with us.
The iPhone has been stuck in groundhog day since we took it to Cornwall in the summer. Specifically, it is obsessed with Liskeard. Ever since we drove through there on the way to a holiday cottage it has been gripped by a strange determination to get itself back there that can only be described as psychotic.
So strong is its neurosis that whenever I program it to take me somewhere in London, I set off from my house in Balham with the iPhone announcing: ‘Four hours and 46 minutes to arrival at… Liskeard!’
‘But I don’t want to go to Liskeard,’ I scream, screeching to a halt. ‘I want to go to Putney!’ And as I bash the commands, I find that while I correctly instructed it to take me from SW12 to SW15, it has re-set itself to take me from SW12 to PL14.
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