Clueless about who, where or what to turn to next, I wonder which was history’s first body to announce a ‘full and far-reaching commission of enquiry’ in which to cover itself with a sub judice blanket until the army of furious castigators either runs out of rotten tomatoes or turns their bombardment of scorn to other targets.
The English Football Association’s ‘drastic root-and-branch examination of every aspect’ of the national team’s past and future performance is neither more, nor less, than that. And however long the charade plays on — however many ‘consultation’ documents are ordered and foreign ‘research’ freebies taken — I doubt if the FA, or those of the nation who care, will be any the wiser at the end of it.
Actually, it’s easy: all England’s national team needs is a group of less gormless players, a fresher, brighter bunch collectively capable of altering lines of communication on the hoof during a match, and sharp enough to realise that individually they might, just might, not be half as glisteningly brilliant as they think, or are told, they are. Then put them in the stewardship of a strict chief coach who can drum into them those two basic competitive principles. It might help, too, if that fellow had a couple of A-levels in man-management and canny media savvy as well as ensuring, in the first place, a cadre of players which could, without thinking about it, use either foot when actually kicking a ball.
Scotland and Northern Ireland each came heroically close to qualifying for the 2008 European finals; England came closer, but dismally, humiliatingly. It seems quite possible to me that none of the (what we used to call) ‘home nations’ will ever again qualify for the finals of a major competition.
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