Sunday
Bonjour, mes amis! Am in Paris for Compassionate Conservative hen weekend! All the girls from the office are here giving Abby from Dave’s team a Right-Of-Centre-Yet-Modern send-off. Staying in what Poppy describes as a dump, but is actually a boho chic boutique hotel (I checked the brochure). We were going to stay at a place called the George but it flooded, or something. Every time we drive down the Champs Elysées everyone sighs, and says, ‘Ah, the George sank’. V odd. Also, what is ‘Urmeez’ — and what does it have to do with scarves?
Anyway, big party tonight. We are dressing up as blue bunny girls and going to a bar where there are lots of rugby fans. Dave’s sent a telegram which I’m going to read out. It says: ‘About time you got hitched. Tax cut in post. The rest of you girls better get a move on or you’ll be old spinsters.

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