Monday
This Aitken business is all v confusing. Has led to heated debates about some extremely odd-sounding things that happened ten years ago. I thought Mr Blair invented ‘sleaze’! But it seems there were all sorts of shocking goings-on in the 1990s under poor Mr Major. Poppy knows all about them, of course, and thinks it terribly amusing that I don’t. Well, excuse me if I wasn’t reading Parliament Today under the duvet in my chalet in Switzerland when I was 18! I guess I just had too much fun to be getting on with — not to mention upmarket catering. (It’s not easy helping large groups of people to burn their own fondue, you know).
It was hardly surprising that I embarrassed myself this morning by asking who Piers Merchant was. Nigel was quite sweet about it. Looked at me in fatherly way and said: ‘Honestly, Lightwater. You’re like a young Teresa Gorman sometimes.’ Obviously, I couldn’t ask who Teresa Gorman was, but I hope it’s someone nice.
Tuesday
DD getting v excited about his ‘third scalp’. Keeps ringing up to ask when Dave’s going to ‘let the hunter see the tigress’. Don’t know what he’s planning to do to the Home Secretary but it sounds jolly exciting!
Spent afternoon playing ‘Fantasy Sleaze Cabinet’. Wonky Tom came up with most of it and wrote it all on the Ideas Whiteboard. Lord Archer to be put in charge of Standards Commission; Tim Yeo and Steve Norris to look into family breakdown; Neil and Christine Hamilton to head up Retail and Hotel Sector Taskforce. I tried to join in by suggesting John Gummer as Chair of Food Safety Commission, but apparently he’s already doing that. Poppy got biggest laugh by saying John Redwood should chair Space Travel Policy.
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