Nigel told me he’s the new Boris

Last week I arrived in London from the Cotswolds just in time to witness the collective meltdown from everyone around me as it was announced that Donald Trump was the President-elect. I was delighted. Who are we to complain? The American people knew exactly what they were doing. I had been booked on to ITV’s This Morning where we were to discuss Kamala Harris’s resignation speech, a story so feeble it wouldn’t last until the 6 p.m. news. The tone in the studio was ‘poor Kamala’. I was having none of it. She fully deserved to lose. She had no coherent policies on immigration or the economy and banged on endlessly about women’s reproductive rights as though that were all women cared about. At the same time the Democrats patronised women, telling them to vote for Kamala but not to tell their husbands. I’m amazed anyone thought she would actually win.

I wonder if the perma-tanned Emily Maitlis – who had to be told off for swearing during the C4 election coverage as it became clear Trump was the victor – has recovered from her own obvious state of distress.