Naked lunches and hidden bigotry

Have you got your names down yet for the Bunyadi? I’d hurry, if I were you. There’s currently a waiting list of more than 40,000, most of them homo-sexual Camden cyclists, I would guess. The Bunyadi is the country’s first nude restaurant and is, of course, in London. You go in, take all of your clothes off, sit yourself down in the noisome detritus left by the previous diner’s prolapsed rectum, and peruse the menu. Your waiters are not quite nude. They have small coverings to prevent unfortunate accidents. You would not wish to turn around in your seat to order a glass of water only to have your eye poked out by a Polish penis, or your nose immersed in a fragrant Slovak lady garden. But everything else is nude. The food too, according to the proprietors. What does that mean? It means vegan, naturellement. Not just nuts, but berries, too.