Philip Hensher

My vote winner? Banning ‘fun’ runs

iStock 
issue 11 May 2024

Philip Hensher has narrated this article for you to listen to.

One of us must once have told a political pollster: ‘I really have no idea at all who I’m going to vote for.’ A moment of mild exasperation put us down as ‘Don’t knows’. Forever afterwards, the prospect of an election, whether for Wandsworth council, the Mayor of London or the Battersea parliamentary constituency, brings them out. The doorbell goes, and there is a bright-faced, footsore, ill-dressed but dedicated party activist, clutching a clipboard. Without exception, each is firmly convinced that he knows what you are going to complain about.

‘Why do runners need compulsory declarations that something is “fun”, and amplification, and techno?’

‘Do you have any concerns about your neighbourhood?’ a Labour canvasser once asked. I couldn’t immediately think of anything, so he helpfully prompted: ‘What about the Ethiopian church round the corner?’

I must have looked puzzled.

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