Why I can’t forgive the man who destroyed my childhood

How do you forgive the person who put you through hell as a child? That’s the question that will be running through my mind when I watch footballer turned pundit Ian Wright’s documentary tonight on domestic violence. Wright says he has made peace with the stepfather who subjected him and his family to physical and psychological abuse. He has also made amends with his his mum, a victim herself, who he recalls saying she wished he’d been terminated. But forgiving the man who tormented me is not something I can bring myself to do.

I don’t have much in common with Ian Wright. However, I do have some understanding of how it feels to be dominated and, worse, to feel your mother is either unwilling to take your side or powerless because she is a victim herself.

I was two when my mum and dad separated; she was still just 20. For a time we moved between bedsits in London and Manchester.